Some thoughts on Cows.

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July 20th, 2010

I think I want to become a dairy farmer when I grow up because cows don’t have email.  I would make cheese, but I think cheese does have email.  The other day I saw a piece of Gouda posting an update on twitter.  In all fairness though, it was a Lowes Food so the cheese was kind of snooty.

Cows are wonderful, not only can you sell the dairy and the cows, I can sell their poop too.
They are like super animals, I can see why Hindus worship them as gods.
I worship them too, but in the form of a double quarter pounder with cheese.
I wonder if a cow has ever made the milk for the cheese that went on the burger made from the cow.
Almost sounds like some kind of crazy bovine paradox.

Everybody likes a good joke…

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August 11th, 2009

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston.

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”

“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba.

Some new fun time quotes

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December 29th, 2008

“Don’t ping my cheese with your bandwidth.”
“If we don’t upgrade our servers, a herd of trolls will attack headquarters.”
“I’m reasonably certain that ‘Smartology’ isn’t a real major.”

Anyone who has worked in IT will roll on the floor laughing at this…

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December 4th, 2008

“The website is down!!!”  How many times have I heard that one…

The Website Is Down: Sales Guy vs. Web Dude

Are there any girls there?

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December 4th, 2008

This is classic.  I keep a copy of this 30MB AVI file around so I can watch it any time I need a good laugh…

Summoner Geeks

Sometimes you just have to follow your heart…

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December 4th, 2008

This is often what I feel like…

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December 4th, 2008

I can’t believe I missed this strip. It perfectly mirrors my feelings…

Not so good body shop…

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November 25th, 2008

So I was in an accident a while back, and my car was totalled. Despite the fact that it was totalled, since my insurance company had to pay for the damages (due to a fuck-head in a Dodge Ram fleeing the scene of the accident) they decided to fix it rather than just pay out what the car is worth. For over a month, I dealt with my insurance company, a lawyer (I’m suing the fuck-head) and the body shop before they claimed it was ready for pick up.

Surprise! it wasn’t ready.

The car was in miserable shape when I initially reviewed it. After refusing to take delivery, the shop gave me a dealer loaner and said they would contact my insurance company to further review the case. Well, turns out, when the shop manager looked over the car, he decided to make the next round of repairs free of cost without contacting the insurance company at all. I guess he didn’t want State Farm to see the state of the car after it had been allegedly repaired.

After another two weeks of rolling in the dealer loaner, a Hyundai SantaFe, they called me back yesterday to let me know it was ready for pick up again. This time I did take delivery of the car, but noticed once I got it home that there are additional things that still need to be fixed. The passenger door needs to be re-aligned and the trunk hinges are rubbing when you open and close it. I let the receptionist that I would bring it back twice a week until it was right if I had to. Guess it’s time to show her that I wasn’t bluffing.

People piss me off…

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November 25th, 2008

So I’m driving to a physical therapy appointment the other day (or maybe it was to get my hair done, I can’t remember) and I have to take the loop to get where I’m going. It is no secret that traffic on the loop between 4:30PM and 7:00PM is rough, everybody trying to get home after work, run errands etc, but traffic literally came to a stand still which is less common. I assume it is an accident, which is never a happy thing. People drive like retards in San Antonio (not as bad as Austin, or so I thought, but still bad). Turns out it was an accident, but it was an accident IN ON COMING TRAFFIC! So where I had thought traffic in SA was not as bad a Austin, I was wrong. Apparently people are so intrigued by other’s misfortune, they will slow four lanes traffic to a stop in the opposite direction so they can gawk. People disgust me.

Rackspace’s IPO meltdown

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August 27th, 2008

For the most part, the IPO market has been horrible this year. In fact, according to a report from Reuters, only three IT (information technology) companies have gone public this year.

Despite this, web-hosting company Rackspace (NYSE: RAX) still went ahead with its IPO this week. And, it was pretty bad for investors. On its opening day, the stock price plunged 20% to $10. Ironically enough, Wall Street was hoping that the Rackspace deal would help spark the IPO market.

Take from Nifty News